[locked][willnotbemine]

[aching]

Lucky Spencer is with Lena Austen. They are preparing for a mission that does not have to do with one of the two, big open cases that the Crowbar has undertaken. It's nice to get a break from both of those cases despite knowing why they are so important to solve. They both seem so big and overwhelming. Progress to the next steps has been slow going at best.

They are in her room preparing for the mission and changing into appropriate clothing. It is straight forward enough mission. They have to go the bar and play their two roles while they get some information, hopefully a key that the one man supposedly always carries on him. Lucky has to be the observer. She is supposed to play the damsel in distress part. Lucky is there for backup and to get information from the people talking about the target while Lena goes a more direct route. He finishes buttoning the top buttons on his shirt. The ring that she gave him for Valentine's day is on one of his fingers along with the necklace that she gave him for Christmas.

Even if they turn out to have no secret powers to protect him, it comforts him to wear them both. He has gotten used to the solid weight against his chest and to playing with the ring while they have their big meetings or when he's waiting around on a stake out. It gives his hands something to do, which he needs more often than he can admit.

Lucky turns toward her, finishing up the last buttons of his shirt and freezing at the sight of the dress that she has on. It's hot and very short. "Does it have to be that-- Uh." Right, he will not be a jealous boyfriend here. He trusts her completely. It's thinking about how guys will look at her in that particular getup that makes him lineface if only slightly.

He reminds himself that he has her. How ever they look at her. It's him that gets to be with her in every sense of that word, not only what those guys would be thinking about.

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Lucky doesn't think any less of her for wanting it even though she thinks less of herself for it. He doesn't think that he can. Would it be better for them to watch her reaction to his death? If she got so scared from his brush with death on this mission, how much more powerfully would she react to his actual death if she had lost him but survived?

It's not that he thinks himself so self important that he doesn't think she can make it through his death, but he knows that she has already lost so much and he knows what grief can do to a person. He has seen it. He has felt the effects of it himself and watched his father suffer through the grief of losing Laura, how he spiraled into alcoholism so quickly after that.

What are you asking of me? It's that question when she looks at him like that that almost steals the air from his chest. It's the way that she looks that makes it hard to breathe for a moment. He sucks in a breath when he can manage it. "For you to be with me for as long as possible. I promised you forever, and I thought that promise went both ways," Lucky says and there's a small smile on his face, because he remembers her making that promise and he is trying to hold back the tears instead because it will never be forever. "I'm asking you to not hold your love back from me, not an inch of it. you never have before, and it's all that I want from you. I want you."

It's the only way that he knows how to put it. He would ask of her what they've always had even if it felt like they were in danger of losing that these past five days, when he watched her walk away from him.

"Okay," Lucky says, and he nods because she has forgiven him. She understands that he's sorry but she has doesn't hold it against him. It is easier to really believe it, the more times that he hears it.

The way that she is in his arms, the feel of her close to him makes it easier for him to sleep too. He is reminded that she is near, that he knows where he is in this universe that he doesn't technically exist in. There's no being lost, searching for a path that cannot be found.

His path is with her. His journey is here. It centers him, stabilizes him, and he is able to sleep. They are so good for each other, and he can remember that because as painful as it feels right now, it's better than the aching, emptiness, lost feeling that he had in the five days that he spent without her.

Lena kisses him back with intensity and need, and he meets it with need of his own, with the strength of his feelings in his chest without holding any of it back. He dives into that kiss as intensely as she does, because he didn't know. He didn't know that they'd be back here again like this after what had happened. There had been moments that he had been terrified that that was it. I love you, the kiss says back to her, his hands say to her skin. I will always love you. And this is love, what he is feeling. It is so much more than lust, beyond friendship, past anything else. It's love, and he can feel it breathing through the whole of him as he grabs hold of her like if he doesn't, the rest of the world will rip her away.