[locked][willnotbemine]

[aching]

Lucky Spencer is with Lena Austen. They are preparing for a mission that does not have to do with one of the two, big open cases that the Crowbar has undertaken. It's nice to get a break from both of those cases despite knowing why they are so important to solve. They both seem so big and overwhelming. Progress to the next steps has been slow going at best.

They are in her room preparing for the mission and changing into appropriate clothing. It is straight forward enough mission. They have to go the bar and play their two roles while they get some information, hopefully a key that the one man supposedly always carries on him. Lucky has to be the observer. She is supposed to play the damsel in distress part. Lucky is there for backup and to get information from the people talking about the target while Lena goes a more direct route. He finishes buttoning the top buttons on his shirt. The ring that she gave him for Valentine's day is on one of his fingers along with the necklace that she gave him for Christmas.

Even if they turn out to have no secret powers to protect him, it comforts him to wear them both. He has gotten used to the solid weight against his chest and to playing with the ring while they have their big meetings or when he's waiting around on a stake out. It gives his hands something to do, which he needs more often than he can admit.

Lucky turns toward her, finishing up the last buttons of his shirt and freezing at the sight of the dress that she has on. It's hot and very short. "Does it have to be that-- Uh." Right, he will not be a jealous boyfriend here. He trusts her completely. It's thinking about how guys will look at her in that particular getup that makes him lineface if only slightly.

He reminds himself that he has her. How ever they look at her. It's him that gets to be with her in every sense of that word, not only what those guys would be thinking about.

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She isn't proud that it's true and she isn't proud that he knows.

It feels like weakness but more than that, it feels selfish. Lena knows what it would do to the Crowbar, she knows what it would do to Sonny, and that she'd still prefer to die than to face it goes to show she's a lot more terrible than she's ever given credit for.

That she was dealt the terrible hand, that she got the short end of the stick, it doesn't excuse it. Nothing excuses it when she loves them so much. She doesn't care what the world would ask of her, but she does look up at him at that, gaze sweeping across his face. "What are you asking of me?"

She isn't asking what he has the right to ask of her or not. She wants to know what he'd ask regardless.

"You're sorry. I know you're sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I know it and I do not hold anything against you. My fear and what I can and cannot handle is not on you. That's all me."

She always does sleep better when it's with him. He's had a way of holding her in the past that makes her feel safe and cherished, and the time she spends with him is the time she allows herself to slow down. It allows her to savor life the way it's meant to be savored, and she honestly couldn't say that about herself up until a few months ago.

Lena wasn't really living, either. She'd been existing, and she'd been making some really poor choices, and she'd been distancing herself from those that only had her best interests at heart. She doesn't want to know what would have happened had she botched the mission and she hadn't met him halfway through it. She just doesn't. And when she isn't bogged down by the fresh sting of what's happened or the weight of the doubts clouding everything else, she does see it clearly. She sees how good they are for each other and how much they help each other. There's adventure but there's also stability, and there's trust and there's honesty.